Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

and to follow on, here come the big cats, well and some meerkats because, well because they’re cute and some jellyfish because they’re pretty.

The light on the day way dire to say the least and my primary focus was ensuring I didn’t lose the kids in the crowds too often, I still came away with a couple of shots that I am over the moon with and several hundred more for the scrap-heap.

as previously shared

as previously shared

darn sticks

darn sticks

my favourite picture of the day

my favourite picture of the day

here kitty kitty

here kitty kitty

lioness

 

am I regal enough?

am I regal enough?

 

ok I'll move along then

ok I’ll move along then

 

why hello there

why hello there

it wasn't us we're innocent I tell you

it wasn’t us we’re innocent I tell you

 

we're

we're not aliens

we’re not aliens

I hope you like them and please do add your thoughts and comments to the section below, I’m obviously emotionally attached to the pictures and critiques and ideas are always welcome.

Hope you’re having a great day.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

 

The below is list of a couple idea’s I’ve come up with to get me through my days as a stay at home dad and their pros and cons instead of resorting to the television.

  •  Books

Pros: 

books are cool,

books are educational,

books are colourful,

books are entertaining,

books contain characters from television.

Cons: 

Books are edible,

books can be used as a weapon,

books are repetitive, seriously we own hundreds of kids books why do we need to read Fireman Sam again, oh yes it has a siren.

see a siren, who's idea was that? they didn't have kids I can tell you that much

see a siren, whose idea was that? they didn’t have kids I can tell you that much

Toddlers can destroy a book in seconds.

Yes that is the same duck as it was when we read this book five minutes ago. No no, ducks are fine, no I’m not reading Fireman Sam again.

ouch that’s my head, ouch, ok who wants something to eat?

  • Art

Pros: 

Educational,

quiet,

productive, can show Mrs BC we’ve achieved something.

Cons: 

Crayons are edible,

washable is marketing speak or lying,

no Daddy doesn’t want to draw you a snake, spider, Scooby Doo, etc. etc. etc.

Paint, do I need to say more?

Glue, do I need to say more?

that special shade of shit, I know, I know I’m supposed to coo and go ooh my babies made that but seriously it’s tough.

see those lines, yeah the kid missed them too

see those lines, yeah the kid missed them too

  • The Play Cafe

Pros: 

They’re relatively safe

They love it

They interact with other kids

Cons:

Other people’s children……

Extortionate prices

Clingy kids

They do their best, but by midday everything is bound to be sticky (I fear my kids are largely to blame here)

I’ve only just scratched the surface here but if anyone asks what I’ve been up to with all my free time since I’ve been home with my kids I’ll point them here and suggest that they give it a go sometime.

I mean seriously has anyone actually done a study that suggests the maximum amount of television it’s OK to let a toddler watch, is 12 hours a day too much?

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

P.S. the reality is they get no weekday daytime television unless Zimbabwe are playing cricket and then they get that. Doesn’t make it any easier to say no to them every day though.

I’m sure I’ve written before about the genius who is Amber of http://www.crappypictures.com her insightful and hilarious posts are well worth following whether you are a parent or not, but today she has published the post I’m re-blogging wholesale below, I’m sure that every parent of toddlers can relate.

P.S. she’s got a book coming out, go and buy it from amazon

Enjoy

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

(Attention: If this is the first post of mine you’ve ever read you might think I’m one of those bitter parents who don’t seem to like their kids very much. You might even be inspired to say nasty and judgmental things in the comments. Dude. Get a grip. The rest of this blog isn’t like this. Well, not usually. But everyone snaps at some point. This week? I’ve snapped.)  

Jobs.

You know what the best part of having jobs always was for me? Quitting them. Sure, I had a couple jobs I actually liked, the best being an indie video store in college(Bongo Video in Madison, WI – now closed, sadly) but I had plenty of really crappy ones. Glory was found in quitting.

One of my first jobs as a teenager was so horrible and demeaning that I pissed on the uniform* and then returned it in a grocery bag. When I handed the bag over I said, “This job sucks. I quit.”

It was that bad.

So now I’m a parent. People have long compared parenting to having a job. You hear quotes all the time like “the hardest job you’ll ever love” and stuff like that.

Well you know what? Parenting isn’t just hard.

This job sucks. I quit.

Ahhh, there’s the rub. You can’t quit. Ever.

Oh but I daydream about it sometimes. Don’t you?

When I’m at the bottom of the pit of despair (otherwise known as circling the drain)I daydream about quitting. I envision myself walking out the front door, down the front steps and onto the street. From there I hitchhike and somehow wind up backpacking across Spain. There are wildflowers and country villas and all kinds of lovely things. Complete freedom. Alone.

I’ve even gotten so far as to actually walk out that front door. Course I don’t get past the steps. Instead I collapse onto them and cry my eyes out.

Parenting can be brutal.

Endless.

And I try really hard to be a “good” parent. To give my kids attention and respect. But you know what?

Sometimes I just want to tell them to fuck off.

Sometimes, this is what I WANT to say versus what I REALLY say…

 

 

parenting-i-quit-1

parenting-i-quit-2

Oh and those toys that NEVER get picked up? That are covering every surface of my entire house no matter how many times I ask them to pick them up?

Well…

parenting-i-quit-3

parenting-i-quit-4

Sigh. And they still rarely help.

In addition to the “I don’t like you” thing, he also says “Go Away!” all the time.

parenting-i-quit-5

parenting-i-quit-6

And we all know there is nothing worse than a kid who won’t go to sleep.

parenting-i-quit-7

parenting-i-quit-8

The pee denial annoys the crap out of me. (This was age 3-4.5 with Crappy Boy. And currently with Crappy Baby. Yay.)

parenting-i-quit-9

parenting-i-quit-10

And that contradictions thing they do?

parenting-i-quit-11

parenting-i-quit-12

And this happens almost daily…

parenting-i-quit-13

He ignores me. Followed immediately by him falling.

parenting-i-quit-14

parenting-i-quit-15

And after all of these things happen in just one day…

Crappy Papa comes home.

parenting-i-quit-16

parenting-i-quit-17

Then I usually hand him something with pee on it.

Some things never change.

 

————

*Yes, I really peed on the uniform. True story. It was a gas station. 

And admittedly, sometimes I do say what I want to say. Not perfect. Especially during weeks like this. Haven’t set fire to any toys yet though. Yet.  

OK well laziness might not be the right answer, being a full-time dad is extremely time-consuming and if I’m honest probably quite dull to my readership, I’ve also been suffering from technical difficulties relating to security settings on my computer that kept logging me out of WordPress, I think I’ve now resolved that issue and promise I will try to get back to keeping you updated on a more regular basis.

My photography hasn’t slowed down although my editing has and as such I’ve been very naughty about sharing any of that with you either.

still here’s a couple of shots from the other night where I went out and played with some long exposures.

le audi le me le park

I’ve also spent a bit of time playing around with a small home studio Mrs BC bought me for Christmas.

f250 port zeiss f252 f253

Hope you’re all well

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

oh dear oh dear where has the month gone.

I promise I’m still alive I’ve just been looking after the boys and ignoring all of you lovely people in the blogosphere, just goes to show how much of my writing was done in those forgotten things they call luncheon breaks.

Anyhoo, I’ve not killed them and most of the laundry is getting done and I’ve only resorted to McDonald’s a couple of times.

So ignoring all of that dullardness that is being a house husband I have a few things to catch up on like the fact that I’ve launched a Facebook page, Facebook is not my preferred form of social media by any stretch of the imagination. Google+ is the way forward but you’ve got to go where the people are and Facebook is unfortunately that place.

right back to today’s story, its unfortunately a month old now The Monkey Boy having uttered these wonderful words when I unwrapped the Homer Simpson beer glass I’d been given. “Daddy, that’s you on the glass”

I didn’t hit him, honest, it might have crossed my mind but I was too busy glaring at Mrs BC as she smirked and giggled.

sigh………

I promise I’ll make an effort to get back into sharing more with you.

I hope you all had a fantastic festive season

a little Christmas Bokeh

a little Christmas Bokeh

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

I was hoping for this to be a Happy Christmas, life is good I retire tomorrow post, you see today was the last day of my boys going to nursery, The Monkey Boy has been there nearly two years and The Bug for about seven or eight months.

The Monkey has been running a mild fever on and off for the last couple of days which we’ve been treating as all parents do with kiddies paracetamol solution and in all honesty he’s been pretty miserable, today though he woke up bright as a button and excited about going in to school to see all of his little friends. I successfully deposited The Bug in his room but was stopped at the door to The Monkey Bugs room and told although it was his last day he wouldn’t be allowed to come in as he had a slightly red bloodshot eye and he would need to be seen by a doctor to confirm he didn’t have conjunctivitis before they’d let him in.

To say that I’m livid that not only did I have to take more time off work, thankfully only a couple of hours, to run him home as Mrs BC is off today, but mostly because they wouldn’t even let him say good-bye to all the  friends he’s made in the last couple of years.

I know he’s only three and doesn’t even understand that he’s never going back but I still think that they were being overzealous, cruel, pedants. Even if the kid does have pink-eye (which I’m 99.9% certain he doesn’t) they’re closed for the next two weeks so they wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout.

Refund ha, you’ve got to be joking, so today we have paid approximately £40 for them to be cruel.

This might explain why we have taken the decision to stop sending the boys to spend their days with excitable jobsworths with minimal training and spending their days with me their loving father.

My normal approach to children’s illness and maladies reads something like the below

Is it bleeding?

Yes

Is it bleeding a lot?

only a little bit

Is the blood blue?

No

You’ll be fine then.

Unfortunately in today’s health and safety conscious, litigious times they and all nurseries, schools etc. need to make sure that they cover their own rear ends from ambulance chasing lawyers. Gone are the days of tough school nurses in heavily starched pinnies pouring on some iodine or even better mecurechrome and sending you on your way with tears pouring down your face from the sting. To be fair in the case of mecurechrome it did actually contain mercury and was pretty bad for you, but who cared it dyed your scabby knees bright red as a badge of honour. Today the only course of action is “Oh my god” assume the child is dying and insist on the parents removing the child from the premises.

Enough, I’m being an arse, it’s done, the they don’t have to go back anymore, I’ve only got one day left of work and I can resume my stance of here have some biscuits it will be fine.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

I’m reporting on someone else’s hearing here although he did repeat it to me later I thought it so hilarious I have to share it with all of you.

The Monkey was at nursery and one of the teachers/nursery attendants/nurses/ladies who look after the kids (dunno what her real title is) Charley decided that she would race him at some jigsaw puzzles I don’t mean to brag about this or anything we’re not talking two or three-piece jobbies either but decent thirty or forty piece puzzles. Still the race ensued and my little Monkey Boy thrashed her hands down. This is not the best bit though. Upon completion realising he’d won he uttered the wonderful “I am a genius Charley”.

It wasn’t a fluke either, feeling shamefaced and not just a little embarrassed at having been whupped by a not quite three-year old Charley sealed her humiliation by declaring that hers was too hard and that they should swap puzzles. Lo and behold my angelic, smug faced little Monkey Boy beat her again and said “it’s ok Charley because I am a genius”

He must have his mothers brains because I still have mine.

It must be wonderfully refreshing to be able to be so forthright and smug without the guilt that later life instills in us at being better than others, victory was his and he rubbed it in, I am very proud.

Three days left in my life as an office worker, they are dragging a tad….

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow