Posts Tagged ‘oiks’

I disappeared there for a while, I am truly sorry about that but I will be back properly soon but I think it’s about time I gave an explanation or two as to where I’ve been.

Are you ready for it?

Are you holding your breath?

Are you excited?


Wait for it!!!!

Wait for it!!!!

Bugger I’ve got you all worked up now and the honest truth is I don’t have much of an excuse short of work pressures and a blown up laptop which I could have gotten round by just getting off my fat lazy arse and using the desktop PC that lives on the other side of the room. I have also been very bad about reading and commenting on many of the blogs that in the past I’ve been very good about spending time interacting with, sorry.

I haven’t abandoned photography though, I’ve still been taking pictures almost every day but again plead the above when it comes to editing and sharing.

I do have some news though, I’ve decided to retire, like soon, like at the end of the year.

Well I call it retiring, Mrs Bunny Chow tells me that I will be something called a house husband or her cook, clean and junior bottle washer (she’ll always be the chief) which amounts to much the same thing in my book.

It’s a decision I’ve been putting off making for sometime as because as much as I like to pretend that I am a modern metro-sexual man the reality is I’m rather boorish and scared of being trapped in a small home with two little people who will look to me for entertainment once I have banned daytime television as I don’t want them to grow up as Croydon oiks looking to loot and pillage for entertainment as they age.

Still economics have forced my hand and I’ve had to suck up my ego and accept that Mrs BC is smarter and wiser (read earns more) than me and as such it is my duty to voluntarily remove myself from the world of the gainfully employed and insert myself fully functioning as some sort of domestic god/children’s entertainer and educator. In theory once the boys are older and the costs of childcare reduce I will be able to re-insert myself back into the world of the employed. I have certainly discussed the possibility or reemployment in the future with my current employer and he was at least mildly enthusiastic if understandably unwilling to make a guaranteed commitment.

Well there you have it.

I don’t promise to improve the frequency of my posts in the coming month but normal service will hopefully resume once I have settled myself into a routine of art projects, duplo and visits to places that dads go, MacDonald’s shamefully sprang to mind ahead of the library and park, thankfully I don’t like MacDonald’s.


Mr Bunny Chow



Here we go again I have worked myself up into teeth spitting fury and frustration, I’m sure that those of you who go to the effort of reading this rant will think by the end that I am a sad, arrogant arse and I wouldn’t blame you for feeling that way because it’s probably true but I cannot help but share this with someone especially as Mrs BC has given up listening to me pontificate my frustrations.

A few of you who have stuck with me for a while now may remember my two-part series from October last year which if you don’t you can read here and here but if understandably you can’t be bothered to go back to my earlier rants I’ll give you a brief background, My kids go to a nursery school which is set within the grounds of a privately run but government-funded high school, their basic tenet is to make profit and take control of a school that was failing under government control. To earn the big government moolah they have to show lots of shiny statistics that include things like reduced exclusions etc. this is very easy for them to do as they basically just ignore every behavioural problem that they can.

The school is run by a slimy young businessman who in these pages I have named Mr Litebeer, I met with him last year to complain about a specific indecent I witnessed and he chose to brush under the carpet. Since then our paths have barely crossed, barring a minor rant from me about the amount of litter around the school which to his only credit in all of my dealings with him did improve for a few days thereafter.

Yesterday though I found myself trying to drop my boys off and all the allocated nursery parking spaces had been occupied by builders skips, delivery vans etc. as I was on my way to work and time was of the essence I chose the first available parking space which I will freely admit is clearly marked Principal.

Ten minutes later I returned to find the following note (only names have been edited otherwise it is as written)




of course I being an arrogant arse myself I could not leave this be and drop this so decided to respond to Mr Litebeer thus

Dear Mr Litebeer, 

Thank you for the note you left on my car this morning.  Whilst I appreciate that the bay I was parked in is CLEARLY MARKED “PRINCIPAL”, somehow the yellow bays clearly marked “CUTE SHINY NICE KIDS NURSERY” seemed to be full of delivery vans that were clearly making deliveries to the school. 

If you are unable to ensure that your delivery people park in spaces other than those clearly designated CUTE SHINY NICE KIDS NURSERY, I am afraid that I will be forced to continue to park wherever there is available space. 

However, while writing, I would comment that one of the principal tenets of secondary education is readying young men and women for the real world and that as PRINCIPAL your primary role should be setting an example of how to earn the respect of others.  Your note definitely does not set any such example. 

With this in mind, I also would like to bring to your attention that I have seen no marked changes in student behaviour since we met last year (the incident where one of your male pupils punched a female pupil in the face and you chose not to punish them).  I do realise that since the majority of construction has ended there is less interaction between pupils and Cute Shiny Nice Kids’ parents, yet we are still forced to endure daily lashings of loud and disturbing swearing, tomfoolery and disrespect for their elders – never taking into account the impressionable young ears surrounding them.  

It is ultimately your responsibility for making sure that the pupils are aware of the nursery school children and the public in general and that they conduct themselves appropriately.  It may appear that in today’s society swearing is commonplace, but it is still generally unacceptable in polite society and allowing it to continue on school premises to me shows a lack of control by the school over the pupils. 

Yours sincerely

The concerned parent of the next generation

Mr Bunny Chow


this solicited the following response from Mr Litebeer.

Thank you for your observations which I refute.
We do not tolerate swearing on the school premises and deal with it whenever we hear it. I agree that it is not necessary in polite society.
I will ask our site team to remind deliveries not to park in the Cute Shiny Nice Kids Nursery bays. 
If they are occupied, as they sometimes are, as often more Cute Shiny Nice Kids parents arrive at once than there are spaces, please feel free to park on the yellow hatched drop off zones that run along the kerb before the bays you parked in. Many Cute Shiny Nice Kids parents do this currently when they need to.

Smarmy Litebeer

Scummy failed Government Academy 
I know, I know I should probably have dropped it at this point but couldn’t resist a final dig, below is my final ignored email.
Mr Litebeer, 

Many thanks for your prompt response, I regularly make use of the cross hatched area as you suggested but as I’m sure you noticed when parking this morning that too had a delivery vehicle in it. 

As for swearing and intolerable behaviour may I suggest spending time listening to and acting on the complaints of the public rather than blindly believing that your pupils behave in exactly the same manner as when in your presence.

If you would like to meet with me again to discuss the behaviour of your pupils I’d be more than happy to take the time. 


Mr Bunny Chow

I know, I am such a boorish arse of a human being and quite rightly the Nursery have put out a general email reminding all parents that we should only be making use of our designated bays and not inconvenience Mr Litebeer into having to park in the bay next his own and walk a whole extra two feet to his office. None of this changes that I cannot contain my wrath that this smarmy, greasy, nasty little administrator has been entrusted to raise hundreds of the next generation of oiks as they transition into adulthood. It leaves me angered that it is only a year since the riots that brought London to its knees yet this total lack of interest in the behaviour of oikish youths by the very people being paid vast sums of money to educate and mould them into acceptable members of society.

I am honestly surprised that we have not had a repeat of the looting and burning of our area if this is the attitude of the system.

I should probably stop now before I break my keyboard by typing too forcefully.


Mr Bunny Chow