Posts Tagged ‘kids’

and to follow on, here come the big cats, well and some meerkats because, well because they’re cute and some jellyfish because they’re pretty.

The light on the day way dire to say the least and my primary focus was ensuring I didn’t lose the kids in the crowds too often, I still came away with a couple of shots that I am over the moon with and several hundred more for the scrap-heap.

as previously shared

as previously shared

darn sticks

darn sticks

my favourite picture of the day

my favourite picture of the day

here kitty kitty

here kitty kitty

lioness

 

am I regal enough?

am I regal enough?

 

ok I'll move along then

ok I’ll move along then

 

why hello there

why hello there

it wasn't us we're innocent I tell you

it wasn’t us we’re innocent I tell you

 

we're

we're not aliens

we’re not aliens

I hope you like them and please do add your thoughts and comments to the section below, I’m obviously emotionally attached to the pictures and critiques and ideas are always welcome.

Hope you’re having a great day.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

 

I’m sure I’ve written before about the genius who is Amber of http://www.crappypictures.com her insightful and hilarious posts are well worth following whether you are a parent or not, but today she has published the post I’m re-blogging wholesale below, I’m sure that every parent of toddlers can relate.

P.S. she’s got a book coming out, go and buy it from amazon

Enjoy

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

(Attention: If this is the first post of mine you’ve ever read you might think I’m one of those bitter parents who don’t seem to like their kids very much. You might even be inspired to say nasty and judgmental things in the comments. Dude. Get a grip. The rest of this blog isn’t like this. Well, not usually. But everyone snaps at some point. This week? I’ve snapped.)  

Jobs.

You know what the best part of having jobs always was for me? Quitting them. Sure, I had a couple jobs I actually liked, the best being an indie video store in college(Bongo Video in Madison, WI – now closed, sadly) but I had plenty of really crappy ones. Glory was found in quitting.

One of my first jobs as a teenager was so horrible and demeaning that I pissed on the uniform* and then returned it in a grocery bag. When I handed the bag over I said, “This job sucks. I quit.”

It was that bad.

So now I’m a parent. People have long compared parenting to having a job. You hear quotes all the time like “the hardest job you’ll ever love” and stuff like that.

Well you know what? Parenting isn’t just hard.

This job sucks. I quit.

Ahhh, there’s the rub. You can’t quit. Ever.

Oh but I daydream about it sometimes. Don’t you?

When I’m at the bottom of the pit of despair (otherwise known as circling the drain)I daydream about quitting. I envision myself walking out the front door, down the front steps and onto the street. From there I hitchhike and somehow wind up backpacking across Spain. There are wildflowers and country villas and all kinds of lovely things. Complete freedom. Alone.

I’ve even gotten so far as to actually walk out that front door. Course I don’t get past the steps. Instead I collapse onto them and cry my eyes out.

Parenting can be brutal.

Endless.

And I try really hard to be a “good” parent. To give my kids attention and respect. But you know what?

Sometimes I just want to tell them to fuck off.

Sometimes, this is what I WANT to say versus what I REALLY say…

 

 

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parenting-i-quit-2

Oh and those toys that NEVER get picked up? That are covering every surface of my entire house no matter how many times I ask them to pick them up?

Well…

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parenting-i-quit-4

Sigh. And they still rarely help.

In addition to the “I don’t like you” thing, he also says “Go Away!” all the time.

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And we all know there is nothing worse than a kid who won’t go to sleep.

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The pee denial annoys the crap out of me. (This was age 3-4.5 with Crappy Boy. And currently with Crappy Baby. Yay.)

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And that contradictions thing they do?

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And this happens almost daily…

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He ignores me. Followed immediately by him falling.

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And after all of these things happen in just one day…

Crappy Papa comes home.

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parenting-i-quit-17

Then I usually hand him something with pee on it.

Some things never change.

 

————

*Yes, I really peed on the uniform. True story. It was a gas station. 

And admittedly, sometimes I do say what I want to say. Not perfect. Especially during weeks like this. Haven’t set fire to any toys yet though. Yet.  

I was hoping for this to be a Happy Christmas, life is good I retire tomorrow post, you see today was the last day of my boys going to nursery, The Monkey Boy has been there nearly two years and The Bug for about seven or eight months.

The Monkey has been running a mild fever on and off for the last couple of days which we’ve been treating as all parents do with kiddies paracetamol solution and in all honesty he’s been pretty miserable, today though he woke up bright as a button and excited about going in to school to see all of his little friends. I successfully deposited The Bug in his room but was stopped at the door to The Monkey Bugs room and told although it was his last day he wouldn’t be allowed to come in as he had a slightly red bloodshot eye and he would need to be seen by a doctor to confirm he didn’t have conjunctivitis before they’d let him in.

To say that I’m livid that not only did I have to take more time off work, thankfully only a couple of hours, to run him home as Mrs BC is off today, but mostly because they wouldn’t even let him say good-bye to all the  friends he’s made in the last couple of years.

I know he’s only three and doesn’t even understand that he’s never going back but I still think that they were being overzealous, cruel, pedants. Even if the kid does have pink-eye (which I’m 99.9% certain he doesn’t) they’re closed for the next two weeks so they wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout.

Refund ha, you’ve got to be joking, so today we have paid approximately £40 for them to be cruel.

This might explain why we have taken the decision to stop sending the boys to spend their days with excitable jobsworths with minimal training and spending their days with me their loving father.

My normal approach to children’s illness and maladies reads something like the below

Is it bleeding?

Yes

Is it bleeding a lot?

only a little bit

Is the blood blue?

No

You’ll be fine then.

Unfortunately in today’s health and safety conscious, litigious times they and all nurseries, schools etc. need to make sure that they cover their own rear ends from ambulance chasing lawyers. Gone are the days of tough school nurses in heavily starched pinnies pouring on some iodine or even better mecurechrome and sending you on your way with tears pouring down your face from the sting. To be fair in the case of mecurechrome it did actually contain mercury and was pretty bad for you, but who cared it dyed your scabby knees bright red as a badge of honour. Today the only course of action is “Oh my god” assume the child is dying and insist on the parents removing the child from the premises.

Enough, I’m being an arse, it’s done, the they don’t have to go back anymore, I’ve only got one day left of work and I can resume my stance of here have some biscuits it will be fine.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Another classic of the logic of a nearly 3-year-old.

“Daddy my arms sore” why is your arm sore my darling? “Because it’s hurting”

you just can’t argue with that sort of logic

have a great weekend

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

I wasn’t witness to this one personally as Mrs BC drew the short straw last night by virtue of the fact that she didn’t have to work today (using up holiday time to go Christmas shopping)

still when it was reported to me this morning I thought it more than worthy of a post and a virtual medal for Mrs BC and her strength of character in not capitulating to his demands at three in the morning.

When The Monkey boy awoke at 01:30 this morning it was with demands for juice, then at 03:00 his demands were slightly more amusing.

“Want Daddy cuddles” to which the response was “Daddy’s sleeping my Angel” which was followed by the next logical response “Want wake Daddy up Mummy”

As I said Mrs BC is amazing and just put him back to bed, she’s an amazing woman.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

We’ve always been very lucky when it comes to our kids sleeping patterns, by and large they have slept through the night and well into the morning from a very young age with nocturnal disturbances normally only brought about by illness.

I am a good father and not at all like the father in this post by the genius demigod of parenting Amber Dusick

http://crappypictures.com/what-it-is-like-to-not-sleep-at-night-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures/

Whaddya mean you’ve never read her site, go there now, come back here later, I’m pretty boring anyway.

intermission-title-still

Oh good you’re back now as I was saying for the last four nights in a row though our very nearly three-year old Monkey Boy has fought us over going to bed to the point where one of us is forced to sit with him until he eventually falls asleep. This would not be so bad if he didn’t then repeat the process and awaken his younger brother with vast amounts of wailing and sobbing again at two in the morning.

I don’t know if he has picked up on the impending changes in his life or if he’s just over excited about Christmas or simply over tired. I do know though that these late night thrombies are fraying the nerves of both Mrs BC and I.

We’re at a loss as to what to do, threatening him doesn’t work, the naughty step doesn’t work, removing Scooby Doo doesn’t work, smacking him doesn’t work, ignoring him makes him louder and disturbs his brother even more, begging doesn’t work, shouting doesn’t work, crying doesn’t work, cajoling doesn’t work, I’m out of things to try short of putting my pillow over my head and hoping Mrs BC comes up with a solution but even that doesn’t work because it results in acts of violence being meted upon me.

Any tips for a fractious sleep deprived family gratefully accepted.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Good Morning all,

I’ve discovered something I hate almost as much as B&Q and Addison Lee, what’s that I hear you cry?

Glitter, as some of you may know I’ve been organising a kids art competition and that combined with ferrying my own little angels nursery paintings and I use the term loosely here means that the interior of my car, my clothes and occasionally even my skin shimmers  whenever I move.

Why, what is the need for it, surely there must be an effective way of getting rid of every last speck of it, why does it cling on and deposit itself across so wide an area.

Ban it, ban it all.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow