Archive for the ‘Oiks’ Category


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It’s important. Will you sign it too? Here’s the link:


Mr Bunny Chow

Here we go again I have worked myself up into teeth spitting fury and frustration, I’m sure that those of you who go to the effort of reading this rant will think by the end that I am a sad, arrogant arse and I wouldn’t blame you for feeling that way because it’s probably true but I cannot help but share this with someone especially as Mrs BC has given up listening to me pontificate my frustrations.

A few of you who have stuck with me for a while now may remember my two-part series from October last year which if you don’t you can read here and here but if understandably you can’t be bothered to go back to my earlier rants I’ll give you a brief background, My kids go to a nursery school which is set within the grounds of a privately run but government-funded high school, their basic tenet is to make profit and take control of a school that was failing under government control. To earn the big government moolah they have to show lots of shiny statistics that include things like reduced exclusions etc. this is very easy for them to do as they basically just ignore every behavioural problem that they can.

The school is run by a slimy young businessman who in these pages I have named Mr Litebeer, I met with him last year to complain about a specific indecent I witnessed and he chose to brush under the carpet. Since then our paths have barely crossed, barring a minor rant from me about the amount of litter around the school which to his only credit in all of my dealings with him did improve for a few days thereafter.

Yesterday though I found myself trying to drop my boys off and all the allocated nursery parking spaces had been occupied by builders skips, delivery vans etc. as I was on my way to work and time was of the essence I chose the first available parking space which I will freely admit is clearly marked Principal.

Ten minutes later I returned to find the following note (only names have been edited otherwise it is as written)




of course I being an arrogant arse myself I could not leave this be and drop this so decided to respond to Mr Litebeer thus

Dear Mr Litebeer, 

Thank you for the note you left on my car this morning.  Whilst I appreciate that the bay I was parked in is CLEARLY MARKED “PRINCIPAL”, somehow the yellow bays clearly marked “CUTE SHINY NICE KIDS NURSERY” seemed to be full of delivery vans that were clearly making deliveries to the school. 

If you are unable to ensure that your delivery people park in spaces other than those clearly designated CUTE SHINY NICE KIDS NURSERY, I am afraid that I will be forced to continue to park wherever there is available space. 

However, while writing, I would comment that one of the principal tenets of secondary education is readying young men and women for the real world and that as PRINCIPAL your primary role should be setting an example of how to earn the respect of others.  Your note definitely does not set any such example. 

With this in mind, I also would like to bring to your attention that I have seen no marked changes in student behaviour since we met last year (the incident where one of your male pupils punched a female pupil in the face and you chose not to punish them).  I do realise that since the majority of construction has ended there is less interaction between pupils and Cute Shiny Nice Kids’ parents, yet we are still forced to endure daily lashings of loud and disturbing swearing, tomfoolery and disrespect for their elders – never taking into account the impressionable young ears surrounding them.  

It is ultimately your responsibility for making sure that the pupils are aware of the nursery school children and the public in general and that they conduct themselves appropriately.  It may appear that in today’s society swearing is commonplace, but it is still generally unacceptable in polite society and allowing it to continue on school premises to me shows a lack of control by the school over the pupils. 

Yours sincerely

The concerned parent of the next generation

Mr Bunny Chow


this solicited the following response from Mr Litebeer.

Thank you for your observations which I refute.
We do not tolerate swearing on the school premises and deal with it whenever we hear it. I agree that it is not necessary in polite society.
I will ask our site team to remind deliveries not to park in the Cute Shiny Nice Kids Nursery bays. 
If they are occupied, as they sometimes are, as often more Cute Shiny Nice Kids parents arrive at once than there are spaces, please feel free to park on the yellow hatched drop off zones that run along the kerb before the bays you parked in. Many Cute Shiny Nice Kids parents do this currently when they need to.

Smarmy Litebeer

Scummy failed Government Academy 
I know, I know I should probably have dropped it at this point but couldn’t resist a final dig, below is my final ignored email.
Mr Litebeer, 

Many thanks for your prompt response, I regularly make use of the cross hatched area as you suggested but as I’m sure you noticed when parking this morning that too had a delivery vehicle in it. 

As for swearing and intolerable behaviour may I suggest spending time listening to and acting on the complaints of the public rather than blindly believing that your pupils behave in exactly the same manner as when in your presence.

If you would like to meet with me again to discuss the behaviour of your pupils I’d be more than happy to take the time. 


Mr Bunny Chow

I know, I am such a boorish arse of a human being and quite rightly the Nursery have put out a general email reminding all parents that we should only be making use of our designated bays and not inconvenience Mr Litebeer into having to park in the bay next his own and walk a whole extra two feet to his office. None of this changes that I cannot contain my wrath that this smarmy, greasy, nasty little administrator has been entrusted to raise hundreds of the next generation of oiks as they transition into adulthood. It leaves me angered that it is only a year since the riots that brought London to its knees yet this total lack of interest in the behaviour of oikish youths by the very people being paid vast sums of money to educate and mould them into acceptable members of society.

I am honestly surprised that we have not had a repeat of the looting and burning of our area if this is the attitude of the system.

I should probably stop now before I break my keyboard by typing too forcefully.


Mr Bunny Chow



As some of you may know I am also running a small blog for my local community and it has come to light that Murder has occurred in our road.

We’d like as many people as possible to publicise this fact as we have long been complaining of antisocial behaviour and something needs to be done.

More details available on the community blog page.

Many thanks and TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

This is just a quick post as I wanted to let my loyal followers know I have set up a completely separate blog for the residents in my area.

I know the followers of Mr Bunny Chow are from all over the world and that my posts here are sometimes rather flippant, irreverent rants but something that I’ve only vaguely touched on in these pages is and increase in anti social behaviour in my road and the surrounding roads.

This increase can largely be linked to the opening of a YMCA run and funded hope for disadvantaged adults. You can read that as they would like us the local residents to read it or as I a local resident does, in other words “let’s lob a bunch of degenerate scumbags into a building together on a quiet residential street and see what happens”

This building is largely unpoliced and full of adults with drinking/drug and mental problems, its residents are pretty much free to do as they please although they are not supposed to drink outside, this just means that they drink outside other people’s houses instead.

Anyway this is quickly turning into one of my usual rants and I was only trying to tell you that I have set up a blog to help local residents coordinate efforts to remove these degenerate scumbags from the area.

I may link further articles from there to these pages but won’t be doing so in the other direction. The site will not have the same feel as Mr Bunny Chow but is intended to make change as opposed to being somewhere for me to rant.

Please feel free to wander over for a nosey though


Mr Bunny Chow

P.S. my project 52 post this week is delayed through laziness (I have the photo’s I’ve just not uploaded them to the computer yet so expect that tomorrow or the day after)



Good morning friends, family and others,

It has been a while since I’ve had a full-blown rant within these pages but I can hold back the tide no longer. This post is long and involves many asides to give background information and provide light humour for me the ranter.

As some of my long term readers may recall from mention in my earliest posts Mrs Bunny Chow and I were burgled back in March last year, we lost some of our most treasured possessions including but not limited to my grandfathers Omega, Mrs BC’s late fathers retirement watch, Mrs BC’s grandmothers jewelery, her late mothers jewelery. In the middle of the value scale (emotionally if not monetarily) we lost a whole bunch of consumer electronics, camera’s etc. etc. and then down at the bottom of the scale we also lost lots of really irritating things like my phone charger, I mean seriously a bloody phone charger, why steal someone’s phone charger, they’re not expensive it’s just irritating.

But anyway that’s just for background information to give you an idea of why I am shouting inside whilst bashing forcefully at my keyboard. The most irritating thing that was stolen was the spare keys to both of our cars, I say the most because now nearly a year later, we have spent the insurance money buying new stuff and whilst you cannot replace the sentiment attached to things that belonged to your departed loved ones, you can buy new stuff and it’s fun to be able to walk into a jeweller with a big voucher burning a hole in your pocket and go I’d like this, that and that, oooh and because we’re spending loads can we please have a big discount, thank you very much.

No I’m coming back to those car keys though, because they were not covered by our home insurance and being honest citizens we of course informed our car insurers of what had happened and attempted to make a claim to have the locks replaced. Hmmmm insurance company “we’ll offer you £100 per car”, hmmmm I don’t think that’s going to cover it, try closer to a grand per car, I shouted a lot at the time and made lot’s of poor telephone monkeys in regional towns question their will to live and tangle with a master of the telephone monkey game.

The long and short of it is after them confessing to me on a recorded call that had the cars been stolen they would have paid and that that yes they would indeed cover the lock replacements for both cars they were forced to do just that and to their credit they eventually did. This of course cost me my excess for both vehicles and meant that we both lost our no claims bonus.

At the same time as all of this wrangling was going on our car insurance was also up for renewal and we discovered that because someone had phoned our insurers and claimed that they might have hit one of our cars in their big 4×4 but they weren’t sure, at the time we had dismissed this and said, no the big 4×4 most certainly had not his us and that there was no damage to our car. Our insurers though took this months earlier reported and unclaimed for incident to assume that we were obviously high risk drivers because someone might have but didn’t drive into us tried to vastly increase our premiums.

Much more shouting at regional telephone monkeys and we managed to get this incident stricken from our record after they agreed to inspect our car for damage caused by this big 4×4 when it didn’t hit us months earlier. Surprise surprise they couldn’t find any damage from where the 4×4 didn’t hit us and struck the incident from the record bringing us back to just the two claims for the two cars keys and bringing us back to a still ridiculous but much more acceptable renewal premium.

We did shop around anyway and found them to still be the most reasonably priced option and stuck with them.

Right background to rant over and fast forward to the present day.

As mentioned we’ve just agreed to trade in the two cars for a newer single car as discussed earlier in the week and of course needed to organise some insurance for the new car as well as cancelling our policies for the cars we’re trading in. After doing lots of virtual leg work online and receiving all sorts of wild and wacky quotes ranging from the we won’t insure you at all because you don’t meet our demographic of never use the car but have it garaged and massaged only policies. To we don’t want your business but will give you a quote of £4000 per annum on the off-chance that you’re a moron and will buy it any way. To lots of the big advertising, big name insurers quoting around the £2000 mark down to the more sensible sorts of quotes that we were expecting around the £600 per annum mark.

Annoyingly cheapest on this list was our present insurer, but because of my past experiences with them I decided to ring a couple of the slightly more expensive options first, and what did I find out, that the cheapest three quotes we’d received were all from my present insurers trading under different names and that I might as well stick with the original letterhead as it was still slightly cheaper than going for the same company using a different letterhead. Aaaargh, I called them up and went through all of the usual what is your inner leg measurement and do you intend to actually use this car you are buying or just garage and massage it questions. 

Then we began discovering all sorts of interesting little asides, for example that because we’re not letting our old policies with them run for a full year we will not be entitled to claim any no claims discount that we’ve built up with them accrue we’d be starting again from scratch, so much for loyalty, it obviously means nothing to them, no of course it doesn’t they’re an insurance company and they have us by the short and curlies, we need insurance by law and they know it, ha ha ha ha, what a business plan they have.

Not to worry though Mr Bunny Chow we can offer you an accelerator policy which will allow you to accrue a years no claims discount if you buy a ten month instead of annual policy. Ok we’ll go for that then, right ok then move on, you’d like to pay monthly sir, we’ll that will be 15% more expensive, ok we’ll pay by credit card in one lump, of course no problem but we do charge you an extra £5.95 for the privilege of paying us by credit card.

Aaaargh, now because you are going from having two policies with us down to only the one policy it means that you lose the benefits of our advanced policy which means that we will no longer cover you for personal injury if hit by an uninsured driver and also in the event of total loss and you lose the right to a replacement vehicle whilst we investigate. Now I can add these options back on for you for an additional £56 each or if you were to take both and because I’m a smug telephone monkey and I like you I can offer them both to you for only an additional £91.60, No, well just remember Mr Bunny Chow that you cannot add these options on later because we’re and insurance company and have you by the short and curlies.

Right thank you for handing over your (actually Mrs Bunny Chow’s credit card) details and paying an additional £5.95 for the privilege, but because I’m a charming sales person with a regional accent and obviously paid far too well for anything but sales, in order to cancel the policies for your other cars I’ll need to transfer you to a moron in an Indian call centre, I will send you a free cuddly toy for your loyalty though…………..

“Ello my name is Sanjiv how may I be helping you please”, “I need to cancel the policies for my old vehicles please” Ok sir but please first I am asking for your inside leg measurement for security reasons I am needing to asking for this please, after going through this tedious process I hear cries for help emanating from the other end of the house and rush to the aid of Mrs Bunny Chow who has been attempting to persuade our toddler to try using his potty for the first time. Mrs Bunny Chow has succeeded in the persuasion but unfortunately our toddler has missed the potty. I hang up.

After operation clean poop off floor, now screaming toddler and side of potty, to be fair Mrs Bunny Chow was far more involved than me, I just fetched industrial strength cleaning products and attempted to control my gag reflex. Mothers are much better at this sort of thing and Mrs Bunny Chow is particularly amazing, I again attempted to complete operation lets give our money to lots of crooks who have us by the short and curlies buy car insurance.

“Ello my name is Ranjeev how may I be helping you please”, Hello Ranjeev I’d like to cancel two of my cars off of my policy, “ok no problem sir may I please be having your inside leg measurement for security purposes please”, waffle waffle yada yada, “thanking you very much Sir now please I need to be speaking with Mrs Bunny Chow to asking for her inside leg measurements and to asking her please the same questions I have just asked you now please sir” I tried arguing but Ranjeev was nothing if not persistent thorough so Mrs Bunny Chow duly took the phone and repeated the same yada yada waffle waffle I’d already been through before giving Ranjeev permission to speak with me about one of the cars on the policy.

I should explain this a little further because we had two cars under one umbrella/multicar policy we each had one car insured with us as the main driver and as named drivers on the other car. So despite it only being one policy in order to do anything we both have to be present but hey what do you expect they’re an insurance company and have us by the short and curlies.

Anyway once the yada yada’ing and waffle waffling was over I could get down to the reason for my call in the first place, “ok no problems please Mr Bunny Chow I will be more than happy to be helping you with this request please, as we have you by the short and curlies we will be charging you please £42.95 to be cancelling your policies before the term has ended please, no it is not mattering that you are a loyal customer who has taken out a new policy we are an insurance company who has you by the short and curlies please and anyway please we are sending you a free cuddly toy for your loyalty please.

Aaaargh!!!! We got there in the end, our new car is insured from Saturday and the policies on our old cars will be cancelled from Sunday night, now I suppose I should probably get on the phone to the dealership and make sure that the car definitely will be ready for us to collect this weekend.

Scam Saga Update

Posted: 02/12/2011 in idiots, Oiks

an update from Craig at Damn Fine Food, I’ve suggested he sends them a postcard with a tracking number and a big proud get stuffed from Australia.

Anyway have a read of what he has to say below


Mr Bunny Chow

One thing I have to report on is that the scam saga continues.  It really is amazing the lengths that these people will go to.  They won’t fool me, but it annoys me that so many people will get fooled by them.

After not corresponding with them further they went silent and I thought that was it, however I received an email stating that if I did not send the tracking number within 24 hours that my eBay account will be suspended.  Their email still comes from the domain so it’s clear that it is them.  The next step that I will take is to notify Yahoo that one of their accounts is being used for scams, and I will also report the scammers to the domain authority and ISP to try and get their domains revoked.

Scam Warning

Posted: 01/12/2011 in idiots, Oiks
Tags: ,

This isn’t so much a guest post as opposed to me reblogging this post from friends Caroline and Craig who were unlucky enough to nearly be caught out.

Please be vigilant.

Ah something to break the blog boredom!

On Tuesday evening I put our old camera on eBay.  I started an auction with bidding at $50, and set a “buy now” amount as $150.

I was surprised the next morning to find that someone had bought it at the buy now amount.  I duly started to interact with the buyer, although I did notice something strange, that I was asked by the buyer to email them directly to confirm something.  Not having used eBay before (I had used a similar service in South Africa), I didn’t think it was a particularly weird request despite their request to quote the item number in the subject.  I should add that at this point everything seemed legitimate from the eBay website.

I received an email from the “buyer” saying that they normally reside in Australia, and that they are currently in the US performing audits for the nuclear industry.  They wanted to buy the “item” (i.e. no specific mention that it was a camera) as a gift for a cousin who is a missionary in Nigeria, and that they would be happy to pay the amount for the item, plus $150 for international shipping.  Alarm bells went off with two keywords in my brain – item, and Nigeria.  Why do scammers always seem to use Nigeria for their nefarious activities?  The email address for the buyer did not match the name of the buyer – not inconceivable that this could happen, but suspicious.  In any case as long as I had the money before shipping it didn’t really matter where the people were or where they wanted me to send the “item”.  I checked with Australia Post that $150 would be sufficient, and it is.  Shipping a 1kg box to Nigeria will cost approximately $95.  Cool, after the cost of the box and packaging I get to make a little bit more profit.  They also wanted me to confirm that the item was in good order as they didn’t want to send their cousin a dud gift.  I confirmed that it was ok, but mentioned that the camera did not have a lens and that this would need to be purchased separately.  In the email they wanted me to confirm that it was ok to pay via PayPal or whether I would prefer a bank deposit.  I indicated that it was fine to pay with PayPal.  I heard nothing except for an email from eBay and from PayPal to say that the buyer had paid and that I was now required to send out the goods.  Everything seemed good … or did it?

The first thing I noticed in the generally very professional and authentic looking emails were a few errors such as specifying my name as the buyer, and the word ‘you’ being spelt with a capital Y.  Upon closer inspection the email address that the emails were sent from were suspicious.  So far, all communication from eBay came from an address at  The email that I received, supposedly from PayPal, came from an address at, and the email supposedly from eBay came from  By this time I am very suspicious that something is not right.  I log in to eBay and of course there is no mention of this email.  I log in to PayPal and there is no payment.

eBay and PayPal have an email address that you can send a suspected spoof email to, to verify that it is legitimate.  I sent both of these emails to the addresses at both eBay and PayPal, and received a reply from eBay that the email was indeed a spoof and that I should be very careful about continuing the transaction.  Really? :-)

Next I receive another spoofed email, supposedly from PayPal with the title, “You received a payment from your eBay buyer – SHIP NOW”, again from, followed from a direct email from the “buyer” stating that they had paid and that I should send the item, and giving me an address in Nigeria (which when I checked on Google Maps appears to be valid).  Since they already have an email address for me I thought I would lead them on a bit, so I replied saying that I had not seen the money in my PayPal account and that I would only ship once it was showing on my side.

The reply from the “buyer” duly came stating that the money had been deducted on their side and that I need to send the item, and then send the tracking number to PayPal for them to release the funds.  Yeah, sure, how gullible do they think I am?

I replied once more saying that I would go to the post office later in the day and send the item.  That’s the last email I was prepared to send to them.

In the mean time I looked up the name of the person whose account it was on eBay and matched the address to the same suburb that was listed as the original shipping address.  There was no exact match, but there was a match for the name at a different street in the same suburb.  I called the number but got no reply.  I wanted to find out from the person whether they did indeed have an account at eBay and warn them that it had been compromised.  What I guess had happened is that somehow that person’s eBay account had been compromised, and the scammers had taken over their account (and their good standing 100% positive eBay record), and changed the email address to point to their own address at  This is why the name of the account and the email address did not match.

I then received an email from the scammer saying that they would wait for me to go to the post office (no choice there really), but asked that I do it quickly (in their words “as fat as I can”). (I wonder why?)  I did not respond.

By this time, I had already wasted half of the day dealing with this, so I got to doing some work.

A little later I received a legitimate email from eBay stating that my eBay listing had been removed and that all transaction fees would be refunded.  The reason, “The listing has been cancelled due to bidding that took place without the account holder’s authority”.  They continued, “We have temporarily suspended the account used and are working with the account holder to prevent any further unauthorised activity”.  They then warned me again not to continue the transaction.  Good on you eBay.

I figured that was that, and that I could now re-list the camera, but they literally meant it when they said my listing had been removed.  There is now no trace of it, so I will have to set it up again from scratch.  No problem, but if this keeps happening it’s going to be a bit of a pain.

Did I mention that I thought that there would be nothing further?  Yes I did.  I was wrong!

A little later while I was at dinner, I received an email again supposedly from eBay.  ”Restoration Of The eBay Listing Purchased by …” was the subject, and went on, “This is to inform you that we have restored the eBay listing involving you and … Which has been removed back on the eBay database.  We have investigated the issue and have found out the original buyer and owner of the account purchased the item before a third-party had access to the buyers eBay account.  We sent you an email regarding the purchase and the buyers eBay user account.  These issues have now been resolved and you are required to continue with the transaction.  You must remove the item or stop the sale of the item to any other buyer if you have re-listed the item before receiving this message.  eBay is officially guaranteeing you that security measures will be put in place in order to receive the payment for this transaction securely.”

I’ll give them full marks for persistence, and about 80% for grammar and syntax.  Of course a check of the email address shows that the email again came from  IGNORED!

Exactly ten minutes later (a tip that the whole thing is computer controlled), I received another message from the “buyer” stating that I need to send the item and tracking number quickly as the account had been hacked and that they needed to make sure the transaction was completed before the account was hacked again.  IGNORED.

I haven’t heard from them again, yet.

Persistent little buggers, but I like to think I’m impervious to scams.  Perhaps one day I’ll be proved wrong, but it’s not like I go looking for them.  It is clear though that this trail is designed to tap into insecurity about being a new eBay user and not really knowing exactly how things work, and I’m guessing also hoping that the person doesn’t really know how to recognise spoofed emails.  They really are the low lifes of the world.  Scammers I mean, not Nigerians, as this may not have even involved Nigerians.  However, the point of this whole exercise was to get me to willingly send an item to an address (in this case an address in Nigeria), and them ultimately not have to pay for it.  That item will then be received and most likely sold at a local shop to some unsuspecting buyer.

Oh lookie here.  Someone else has mentioned the scam on the web.

And in other news we went to a Korean restaurant for dinner, but you can read about that on our food blog!