Archive for the ‘Christmas’ Category

I was hoping for this to be a Happy Christmas, life is good I retire tomorrow post, you see today was the last day of my boys going to nursery, The Monkey Boy has been there nearly two years and The Bug for about seven or eight months.

The Monkey has been running a mild fever on and off for the last couple of days which we’ve been treating as all parents do with kiddies paracetamol solution and in all honesty he’s been pretty miserable, today though he woke up bright as a button and excited about going in to school to see all of his little friends. I successfully deposited The Bug in his room but was stopped at the door to The Monkey Bugs room and told although it was his last day he wouldn’t be allowed to come in as he had a slightly red bloodshot eye and he would need to be seen by a doctor to confirm he didn’t have conjunctivitis before they’d let him in.

To say that I’m livid that not only did I have to take more time off work, thankfully only a couple of hours, to run him home as Mrs BC is off today, but mostly because they wouldn’t even let him say good-bye to all the  friends he’s made in the last couple of years.

I know he’s only three and doesn’t even understand that he’s never going back but I still think that they were being overzealous, cruel, pedants. Even if the kid does have pink-eye (which I’m 99.9% certain he doesn’t) they’re closed for the next two weeks so they wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout.

Refund ha, you’ve got to be joking, so today we have paid approximately £40 for them to be cruel.

This might explain why we have taken the decision to stop sending the boys to spend their days with excitable jobsworths with minimal training and spending their days with me their loving father.

My normal approach to children’s illness and maladies reads something like the below

Is it bleeding?

Yes

Is it bleeding a lot?

only a little bit

Is the blood blue?

No

You’ll be fine then.

Unfortunately in today’s health and safety conscious, litigious times they and all nurseries, schools etc. need to make sure that they cover their own rear ends from ambulance chasing lawyers. Gone are the days of tough school nurses in heavily starched pinnies pouring on some iodine or even better mecurechrome and sending you on your way with tears pouring down your face from the sting. To be fair in the case of mecurechrome it did actually contain mercury and was pretty bad for you, but who cared it dyed your scabby knees bright red as a badge of honour. Today the only course of action is “Oh my god” assume the child is dying and insist on the parents removing the child from the premises.

Enough, I’m being an arse, it’s done, the they don’t have to go back anymore, I’ve only got one day left of work and I can resume my stance of here have some biscuits it will be fine.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

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We’ve always been very lucky when it comes to our kids sleeping patterns, by and large they have slept through the night and well into the morning from a very young age with nocturnal disturbances normally only brought about by illness.

I am a good father and not at all like the father in this post by the genius demigod of parenting Amber Dusick

http://crappypictures.com/what-it-is-like-to-not-sleep-at-night-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures/

Whaddya mean you’ve never read her site, go there now, come back here later, I’m pretty boring anyway.

intermission-title-still

Oh good you’re back now as I was saying for the last four nights in a row though our very nearly three-year old Monkey Boy has fought us over going to bed to the point where one of us is forced to sit with him until he eventually falls asleep. This would not be so bad if he didn’t then repeat the process and awaken his younger brother with vast amounts of wailing and sobbing again at two in the morning.

I don’t know if he has picked up on the impending changes in his life or if he’s just over excited about Christmas or simply over tired. I do know though that these late night thrombies are fraying the nerves of both Mrs BC and I.

We’re at a loss as to what to do, threatening him doesn’t work, the naughty step doesn’t work, removing Scooby Doo doesn’t work, smacking him doesn’t work, ignoring him makes him louder and disturbs his brother even more, begging doesn’t work, shouting doesn’t work, crying doesn’t work, cajoling doesn’t work, I’m out of things to try short of putting my pillow over my head and hoping Mrs BC comes up with a solution but even that doesn’t work because it results in acts of violence being meted upon me.

Any tips for a fractious sleep deprived family gratefully accepted.

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

I was planning on using these posts purely for comic effect but I have to report on this one and anyway sod it it’s my blog I can do and say what I please.

after last weeks chaos with children’s lurgy induced stay at home dad before I’m supposed to be a stay at home dad the return of the boys to nursery and me to my penultimate Monday in the office was a little rushed this morning and as such I probably didn’t handle or deal with this utterance with as much excitement or deference as I should have done at the time, in fact I think my response to Mrs BC when she pointed it out to me was something along the lines of “that’s nice Dear, but we’re late”. This has weighed rather heavily on my mind all day and I’ve realised that I’m a complete arse and should instead have lavished said child with praise and adoration.

What can I say, I’m a prize arse who’s not much good with mornings, especially mornings when I’m running late.

I hear you cry from the peanut gallery “what was this darn utterance from your progeny?”

I stress again, I’m a total arse, who should be strung up by his short and curlies by the gods of karma.

Todays utterance came from my youngest and was quite simply “Dad”

God I’m a prize arse.

He’s been babbling for some time now and we’ve had plenty of “mamamamama’s” and “dadadadadada’s” but this was quite clearly “Dad”.

I cannot wait until the end of next week when I remove myself from the rat race and can properly dedicate my heart and soul to my dear sweet innocent boys to the extent that they so rightly deserve.

Sometimes we just have to slow down and consider what’s important in life, would it really have mattered if I was two minutes later for work? No not really, I’m the boss anyway and even if my boss who’s not been in today had queried it, what was he going to do, fire me?

Sometimes in life you do things you wouldn’t dream of doing if you thought about them.

I really hate myself today.

What an arse I am.

TTFN

Mr Bunny I’m an Arse Chow

it’s been a while since I’ve done any random waffling and warbling in these pages and I thought it was about time I changed that.

Christmas is rapidly approaching and as usual I am woefully unprepared, Mrs BC is impossible to buy for that only guidelines I have are that kitchenware is out for some reason, things that smell nice are out, clothing is out, jewellery is out. That doesn’t leave me with a whole bunch of choices, never mind that fact that all of our friends will also turn to me for guidance as they too are fully aware that she’s impossible. I’ve even tried the hugely unsubtle, “what do you want for Christmas dearest, sweetcheeks?” the response was the very helpful “A present”.

The boys should be easy but are proving equally frustrating, they have so many toys and the youngest at 16 months is clueless about christmas, I have no doubt he’ll enjoy ripping up paper and playing with boxes but as yet he has no concept of sharing or ownership, basically he see’s the world with everything being his. The Monkey on the other hand just wants everything, his obsession with Scooby Doo is still showing no sign of abating and whilst I can think of worse things, I mean he could be obsessed by a purple dinosaur or the teletubbies, there are only so many Scooby Doo related accessories and toys one very small house can hold.

It is now only three weeks until I finish paid employment for the forseeable future and I’m beginning to panic about how I’m going to entertain the boys day in and day out, I know I’ll never be fully prepared it’s just one of those things I’m going to have to practice and work on. My only starting point is that there will be no daytime television. Thankfully they are both great readers and I have at least a couple of art projects in the back of my head to get us started.

It’s all very daunting and exciting though.

My other news for the week is that the sweet little disease ridden darlings have been kind enough to bless Mrs Bunny Chow and I with colds. I’m not a fan waking up feeling like I’m still a smoker (I haven’t been for years) or that I’ve been inhaling pure pollen through my nose through the night, seriously I’ve spent the day leaking from every upper orifice whilst hawking up crunchy stuff from my lungs, I mean surely that can’t be good.

I know winter has arrived (Canadian readers I know you’re tough) but I don’t approve of having to scrape ice off of my car in the mornings or the fact that there is still frost on the ground at lunchtime. I’m from Africa though, I can deal with cold as long as it’s safe for T Shirts and shorts to be worn by the middle of the day, in fact I don’t like anything below about 20C (70ish F). I’ve lived on Mud Island for fifteen years by the end of this year and I still struggle with winter. I mean seriously is global warming such a bad idea, can I afford a V8?

Ok that’s enough whining from me.

I hope you have a great weekend

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Darth Vader Santa Says I find your lack of cheer disturbing

Sometimes getting into the holiday spirit can be as tough squeezing into a pair of 10-year-old jeans. Though, by saying that, I’m not suggesting that a generous amount of Vaseline and a heavy-duty pair of pliers applied to your zipper area is going to help get you with “the most wonderful time of the year.”

Whatever the reason, the holidays can be rough for some. Bills, stress, illness, heartbreak, tragedy or an accident involving a large pair of pliers; all these things don’t care what time of year it is.

But there is a threshold you cross when you’re a parent. A point when the holidays are no longer for you. They’re now for your kids, for family.

Downtrodden parents then have to decorate their faces with the most convincing smiles they can summon for others. Hopefully, if they keep at it long enough, their cheeks will find a lightness in a festive moment and float up into a smile that doesn’t need the internal duct tape that keeps up appearances.

If you’re headed into a rough holiday season, with an emotional stocking pre-loaded with personal coal, just keep smiling. If you think Darth Vader Santa would find your lack of cheer disturbing, you know you’re really being a holiday turd. And he can choke you with the Force, so make it a good smile.

As the title suggests, I’ve stolen this post wholesale from the hilarious http://www.howtobeadad.com/ they’re very funny guys and as in this case speak much truth.

I’ve been a Grinch for years but my kids deserve more from me.

Have a great weekend and

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

I can barely contain my excitement any longer, Christmas is just around the corner and I have kids, I know The Bug couldn’t care less and The Monkey Boy barely gets the concepts but still I’m excited by the whole excitement of being able to do stuff for them and the sheer exuberance with which they take on the most simple of tasks.

You should have seen the look on his face yesterday when presented with a stocking and some baubles Nanny Bunny Chow had sent over for the boys, well actually you can

Ok so it’s a terrible picture but he was really happy honest.

Anyway I’ll stop dribbling on and boring you now, but this blog is here as a place for me to rant and ramble so that’s what I’m doing.

TTFN and Happy Holidays

Mr Bunny Chow