reblog of someone else

Posted: 01/03/2013 in being dad, Kids Say the Darndest Things
Tags: , ,

this guy appears to have just blogged about my life, I guess all three year olds or at least his and mine have similar outlooks on life

Enjoy and

TTFN

Mr Bunny Chow

Spaghetti is totally great, but umm…is this dinner or arthroscopic surgery? “Here’s some delicious hair that you’re incapable of eating!”

Why is it that I can’t eat as many vitamins as I want? If they’re good for me, but apparently more than two will result in liver failure, why make them taste like candy? Seems a little dangerous, no?

The rules of the game Tag are backwards. If I’m “it” I should be the one being chased. That’s all. It’s not really a joke I guess, but sometimes I just bleed truth up here.

I don’t get clothes. It’s the 21st century and we’re still using zippers? I want to talk to the manager. Or is it by design that I won’t be able to put on my own coat until I’m 45 years old?

You know what I’m not looking forward to? Shoes with laces.  What is this, the renaissance?  You’re gonna want me to TIE my shoes on? I’m not Robin Hood.  Or should I start jousting too? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH VELCRO.

The bathroom. Basically…no. Why exactly would I sit on a hard cold seat that’s like 100 feet off the ground when I can just go in a diaper while watching TV? That way I can help Dora find the wishing crystal AND crap at the same time. It’s called multitasking.

Here’s an impression of my dad:  (deep dorky voice) “Ok, no more screen time today, buddy!” as he stares at his phone! Whatever happened to parents setting a good example?  On the count of three, I’ll put down the iPad if you turn off your phone. Oh, no deal? Thought so. I usually turn it up after that just to teach HIM a lesson. It’s a two way street, my friend.

I think we can all agree that the vacuum cleaner is an evil beast, right? STOP TAKING ALL THE FOOD I LEFT ON THE FLOOR. You assume I’m not planning on eating that Cheerio next to the bookcase? I might not want to today, but you’d rather it sit uneaten in the belly of that electric animal? I thought I wasn’t supposed to waste food. Plus, I know it stole that plastic ring I got from the machine outside of Best Buy.

ARLO OUT!

(Drop the mic)

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