you’re probably wondering how I’ve been able to type this so soon after surgery to my thumb and the simple answer is that I haven’t had the surgery yet, I went through all of the de-lousing, fasting, stressing and panicking and presented myself to the day surgery unit yesterday at the prescribed time where I waited and sat about for a while before a kindly nurse led me through to the inner sanctum and went through the checking in procedure with me, checking that I’d done everything I was supposed to, ensuring that I’d removed my wedding ring watch etc, fitting me with an ID bracelet explained the infamous backless gown, paper underwear with flattering giant access panel and super sexy anti deep vein thrombosis leggings.
I then got to be fitted with an ID anklet just in case I managed to lose my id bracelet when I was told that my surgeon was there to see me, excellent I thought she’ll just want to discuss what they’re doing again and prod and contort my battered thumb some more before making some drawings and explaining her plans. My initial assumption was initially proved correct, she battered, prodded and contorted me whilst asking if she was causing any discomfort, I nodded in the affirmative to all of her prods and pokes whilst doing my best not to scream, when eventually after all this (she was probably only at it for five minutes but it felt like hours) she said that unfortunately she was going to have to cancel my scheduled surgery due to an emergency that had come in. She then went on to apologise that I had wasted my journey and time off work and that of my carer etc. She then went on to say that she would try to fit me in again after her holiday in 3 to 4 weeks.
I fixed her with my best steely gaze, she obviously understood this to mean that I was preparing to wreak havoc or cry, either way she suggested that on second thoughts that although due to the complexity of my procedure only a consultant would be able to undertake my operation she would speak with Mary the bookings clerk and see if she couldn’t perhaps postpone one of her scheduled operations from Thursday (12.07.12) until after her holiday and slot me in then.
At this point I was dismissed to go and get back into my normal clothes, disposing of my gown, sexy socks and flattering paper underwear.
I was then taken in by a kindly nurse of the old school who could clearly see that I was rather unimpressed and given a strong sweet tea and a biscuit whilst Mary ran around and did her thing, presumably with some success as I’m to present myself for surgery again at 12 tomorrow.
I do hope that they actually go ahead this time as I’m in agony today from Mrs Surgeons proddings and pokings and not sure if Mrs BC can take any more of my grumpiness.
Mr Bunny Chow